


An Ex-Angel Walks into Communion with a Loaf of Bread and a Bottle of Wine. There's Bound to Be a Joke in There Somewhere

by briewinchester



Series: Fics for Meghan [4]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Adorable Castiel, Cuteness overload, Fluff, Gen, communion, drunk!Cas, if you squint this could be read as destiel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-17
Updated: 2014-04-17
Packaged: 2018-01-19 16:51:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1477003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/briewinchester/pseuds/briewinchester
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cas goes to Communion and brings his own bread and wine. He's nervous, so he drinks to gain some courage and before he knows it, he's completely drunk and ranting about his messed up family in the middle of the service.</p>
            </blockquote>





	An Ex-Angel Walks into Communion with a Loaf of Bread and a Bottle of Wine. There's Bound to Be a Joke in There Somewhere

**Author's Note:**

  * For [samandriel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/samandriel/gifts).



The last time Cas stepped foot in a church, he’d been on a power trip and killed many people. So here he stood, human; with a loaf of bread and a bottle of wine in hand, in front of a Catholic church. He took a generous gulp of wine; he would need it to gather up enough courage to step inside.

Cas mostly kept to himself and stayed in the shadows. As he watched the service, the more nervous he felt and the more wine he drank. And the more he drank, well, the louder and more confident he got. And the louder he got, the more he drew attention to himself.

He stumbled forward, mumbling about the communion tradition before screaming at the top of his lungs, “IT’S FOR MY DAD!”

Everyone in the congregation had eyes on the stranger stumbling down the aisle, eyes wide and mouths hanging open at the words spewing out of his mouth.

"I don’t understand how you people even like my Father, let alone worship him. Do you have any idea what it’s like to have God as your father? No? I’ll tell you. He’s very loving; I’ll give you that, but one wrong move and then BOOM! He’s just gone. Never to be seen again."

Cas stumbled again, tripping over the edge of a pew muttering, “Excuse me. I’m so sorry.” he paused again to take another sip of wine.

"And don’t get me started on my brothers and sisters. Dicks. All of them. Michael and Lucifer the biggest dicks of them all. And they are just so whiny and act like bratty children who don’t get their way so they start the apocalypse." he groaned.

The congregation and the priest all stared in shock as this stranger talked about his family. By now they could tell that this man was completely drunk because he wasn’t making sense anymore. All at once, everyone turned their heads back toward the door as it burst open, revealing another man barging in.

Dean followed Cas and waited for him outside. Dean figured that Cas had some unfinished business to take care of so he didn’t go in. Boredom getting the best of him, Dean spotted a bar a little ways down the street and pushed away from the side of the building.

He passed by the entrance to the church and that’s when he heard it. He groaned and let his head hang forward, chin resting on his chest as Cas’ shouts could be heard all the way out here. Dean squared his shoulders before walking inside the building. He winced when the door slammed into the wall and all the heads in the room turned to stare at him as he walked down the aisle toward a still screaming ex-angel.

He sighed and walked up behind Cas and put his hands on his shoulders and led him out of the church, giving apologetic looks as they went. “Alright buddy. Time to go.”

When they stepped outside, Cas turned to face Dean and frowned. “DEAN! GO BACK IN AND GET MY BREAD! I’M GOING TO MAKE A PB&J WITH THAT BREAD!”

Dean winced and poked at his ear. “Dammit Cas! You don’t have to yell I’m right here. And is it really that important?”

"YES, IT IS THAT IMPORTANT! I BOUGHT IT ALL BY MYSELF AND HAVE BECOME RATHER ATTACHED TO IT!" he shouted.

Dean held his hands up in a placating gesture. “Alright, just calm down. We can go to the store and get you another one. But first, let’s take this away from you for a while.”

Dean made to reach for the wine bottle but Cas pulled it away and glared at the hunter. “Don’t touch my wine.”

Dean stared incredulously after Cas as the ex-angel sauntered drunkenly down the street before moving to catch up.

 

**Author's Note:**

> And as always, I have to give all the credit to my best friend, Meghan for the idea! It's all thanks to her that this fic became a reality.


End file.
